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“Could last forever.”

“Yeah, but it also could not last forever.” “Yeah, but it also could.” I and my friend went back and forth about this for a few minutes. Now, I’m not fixed on the idea of being with someone forever, I have been fine on my own in the past, and I know I can take care of myself and be okay. But, my biggest problem when it comes to relationships is that for starters; I don’t get in them, because I am just so obsessed with myself but then when I get in one, all my obsession goes from myself, to whoever I am with. I get attached so easy, because I am good at taking care of people and my whole life I have been worried about me and how I am going to turn out, and what I need to do, but I just love the comfort of caring about someone else and looking out for them in ways like I would if it were I. It’s dumb to get attached to people after a week or so, but dear god, I cannot help it. It also doesn’t help with the other person is obsessed with me as well, which is my current boyfriend.

We have a crazy and chaotic relationship and some of the time I want to strangle him because he is just so stubborn BUT then again I am stubborn too. We clash a lot but no one is more like me, than him. He makes me laugh and he is good at making me feel better when I feel like the whole world has their back against me. He can be crazy and so can I. He makes me happy and knowing I get to see him every weekend helps me push through the week days even more so. We sure as hell have our ups and downs, we argue over little things that don’t matter, and big things that don’t matter, it’s just because we both feel that were right, and want the other to admit it and then we realize were being dumb and just say “Stop it.” And kiss each other and just like that, whatever problem it was, is gone. He’s my bestfriend and I know he would have my back if push came to shove just like I would him.

 I heard this quote one time and it said “Spend the rest of your life with someone you love to annoy.” And I think that is true. I don’t think any relationship or marriage is perfect, if it is, someone is bullshiting. No one is happy all the time, and no one agrees on every little thing all the time. And I am not saying “bullshitting” as in they must be cheating on you or doing you wrong (I mean, maybe they are doing that) but like holding back their thoughts or feelings to avoid arguments, and someone can’t do that all the time. I think chaos is good, it makes the good even better I think. Everyone has their ups and downs, just like there are no roads in this town perfectly paved, everything has rocks and little bumps along the way, but I don’t think it matters how many rocks or bumps there are in the road, but as long as you get over them and come out stronger than ever, that’s what matters.

A lot of people give up on love when it starts to get hard, but you just have to remember that anything that is worth it won’t come easy. So who knows, it could last forever.

6 Words

6 word memoir.

 

1. World of magic, real life tragic.
2. The white girl that looks mixed.
3. I love the crazy things in life.
4. I am a disastrous walking travesty.
5. She is my bestfriend and my mom.
6. Annoying, and I can hardly stand her.

Two weeks passed and it happened again

“Two weeks passed and it happened again”

For years, Mr. Willy had this rat living in his home, and Mr. Willy had this fear of rats, he’s hated them ever since he was a kid. They are so weird he thought to himself. This rat has been running all over his apartment since he could remember, he has set traps, laid out cheese in hope to lure him, but nothing has ever worked. He was so tired of hearing it scurry around his home all day and that little squeak it kept making was on the verge of driving him insane.

For two weeks, Mr. Willys home grew silent. He no longer heard the noises of the little rat and he finally thought that maybe it had moved on, until one evening when he was watching television, a commercial came on and it got really quiet, for a quick moment, he heard that squeak. He turned around in his chair really fast and saw this bulge sticking out from underneath his rug and running around, Mr. Willy picked up a chair that was next to him and started chasing this rat all around his home, hoping that this will all come to an end.

The lamp falls off the table and into a million pieces on floor as the chair comes slamming down on the rug, soon flattening the bulge that was once there. He is going to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

End of Story

I don’t know what it is but there was something about my boyfriend, Jim’s friend that just didn’t set right with me. Maybe it was the fact he kept staring at me whenever my boyfriend wasn’t looking, or maybe it was the fact that he doesn’t even know me and has been acknowledging my existence more than he was towards the person who initially invited him over for dinner in the first place. Jim thought I was just being paranoid and there was nothing to worry about. I mean, he should be right, they have known each other since they were kids and Jim seemed to really like him, so maybe I am just being paranoid.

Later that night after we all eat dinner, we sit in the living room and I listen to the boys as they reminisce their childhood, high school and college days. They really were good friends, and this guy didn’t seem so bad, so I wasn’t minding hanging out with them and getting to know both of them really well. I got up to go to the kitchen to get some drinks for everyone. I was standing at the kitchen counter with my back towards the entry way, I heard someone come in but no one said anything, I just figured it was one of the boys coming in to get something to eat, but then when arms came out from the sides of my waist and wrapped around me, I laughed and said “Jim, your friend is here, stop.” Playfully pushing him away, and when I turned around to look at him, I jumped in my skin a bit when I saw that it wasn’t Jim, but it was his friend. I asked him what the hell he was doing, Jim heard the noise and came in there and asked as well what was going on, his friend then continued to say how I was accusing him of hitting on me, Jim then looked at me and told me to let it go and that his friend is a good guy and he wouldn’t do that, I was outraged by Jim. How could he believe him over me? I rolled my eyes and tossed the drinks into the sink and started my way up to the bedroom.

I lay down in bed just ready to go to sleep simply because I was too angry to be awake, I don’t really remember falling asleep, but I remember waking up. I heard the door open and someone come in the bedroom, when I felt Jims side of the bed sink down, I figured it was just him finally coming to bed, I roll over still kind of upset by the way he treated me in front of his friend and when I felt him turn over to face me, I was shocked when I heard an unfamiliar voice whisper “Jim is asleep.” I jumped off the bed in a quick motion and turned to once again, find his friend there, he was looking at me with a crazy smile and a look of pure determination in his eyes, I screamed for Jim loudly and ran into the bathroom and locked myself in as his friend was pounding on the door and I soon heard Jim running up the stairs, the door was being blocked so Jim had to beat it down, when I heard Jim enter, I heard the two throw each other back and forth across the room and yelling and punches being thrown and hard breathing when I opened the door with my burning hot curling iron in my hand ready to help my boyfriend fight this crazy person off, but when I opened the door I saw that Jim had him on the floor throwing punch after punch at his face and soon his friend reached up and right hooked him pretty hard, right when I was starting to get worried, Jim reached in his back pocket and the knife came down, missing him by inches and he took off.

Ugly Steps

Most really pretty girls have pretty ugly feet, and so does Mindy Metalman, Lenore notices, all of a sudden. Mindy and Lenore have practically grown up together, starting out in kindergarten and getting ready to start their freshman year of high school. Lenore was decent looking, really nice, more of the quiet, shy, and soft spoken one, came from a good set of parents that sent her on the road of straight and narrow. Mindy on the other hand was stunningly beautiful, the outgoing, loud, rebel one, had some good parents that tried to make their daughter a tad more like her best friend, but not everything goes as we initially planned.

The girls were out at the mall doing some late school shopping and just walking around and having a good time. They went to every store they could think of and bought all of the cutest clothes. Lenore was excited for school to start but she was really nervous because she isn’t like her best friend, not only does everyone know her, but everyone likes her, Lenore on the other hand just blended in with the crowd and was known as more of “that friend of Mindy’s” so she was scared that when she got to high school, Mindy would go off and make tons of new friends and Lenore will be left by herself. Mindy though was super excited for high school, all of the movies and stories people tell about “High School being the best days of your life” were just building her excitement over the summer, and now the time was finally here and she couldn’t wait for the journey to begin.

They walk into Payless Shoes and they are going up and down the shoe aisle, boxes of shoes slowly piling up in the arms making it hard for them to see and causing them to stumble all over the place. They finally find a bench where they can sit and make the final decision of which shoes they want to have. Lenore is trying on one after another, as is Mindy, neither of the girls are paying too much attention to one another, busy with their own thing. Lenore looks up after some time to see if her friend was ready to go yet, and when she started from the floor going up, she was almost taken back by what she saw. Lenore’s mother has always told her daughter “Most really pretty girls have pretty ugly feet.” When Lenore was feeling down about herself, causing Lenore to laugh and always remembered this old time saying. That’s why she was so surprise when she say that Mindy… Mindy Metalman, the prettiest girl in all of their school had the most blistered, hairy, wart infested, long nasty toe nails, and the ugliest feet she had ever seen.

                When Mindy and Lenore started high school, the girls were sitting at lunch with some friends, they were all making jokes and talking about embarrassing things about themselves. Mindy told them she had one that would top all of theirs and she continued to take her shoe off and expose her still disgusting feet to the group, they all laughed and made jokes, and soon all of the girls were laughing, Mindy wasn’t known as the prettiest girl in school anymore, she was just known as the “pretty girl with ugly feet” and as for Lenore, she wasn’t known as “the pretty girl with ugly feet, friend.” She was just known as Lenore, and together the girls took down high school, one big ugly step at a time.

Writers as Readers

I think that if you read you do become a better writer because you learn different ways to phrase things and more unique words to use. I think that we see a word or sentence or something the way someone said that you like and you pick it up and start using it. I can speak from experience because I love writing and no one sat me down one day and handed me a pencil and said “now this is how you write a story that will wow someone.” No, I read a lot of books with descriptive things and words that aren’t used very often and characters that have sparked an idea in my mind, and I take what they write and make it my own. Writing helps me a lot in all different aspects of my life and I can honestly say that reading books and poetry has played a big role in it.

I really hope to write a book one day because I love writing and I love story telling. Personally, I think I am pretty good at it. Writing is one of my favorite things to do and I really would like to one day take my stories further out into the world for more people than just my high school friends to see. I would like to do something with my future that revolves around writing.  

I think if I were to write a book it would be a biography first because I am the most interesting person I know considering all the things I have been through and done and everyone else seems to like the stories I tell about some event I have been through, so why not a big book about all of them?

I think what got me started with my passion for writing and wanting to do something with my life with writing in it was when I read a bunch of poetry and just learned a lot about words that really make you feel what the author is feeling or see in your mind what the author is describing because it is in such amazing detail. I was always amazed really good writers were kind of like painters of the imagination, they think something, they write it down, they see it and then we see it too.

Free

I am Free

My mind is open

My invisible eye can see

I have an open mouth

Everyone knows what I think

I say what I feel

I mean what I say

People are intimidated by that and tend to get scared away

Though I am all bark and no bite

I am even no good at killing a fly

I just always say what is on my mind

Dream Threads

Something Like Wonderland

A hole pops up in the ground and I jump inside. I always try my hardest to think about how one day, maybe one day, the world will be rad enough for me to live in. The hole takes me deep underground, on this big slide like thing. After what feels like miles of slipping and sliding all over the place I finally hit the ground, my hands grab the soil just by reaction of falling, but when I pulled my hands up, I didn’t find dirt in between my fingers, instead it was little bits of oreos, oreos! All over the place, it made up the soil! The grass was long pieces of lime flavored liquorish and the sky wasn’t blue, no, the sky was one big tie dye design! This magical place was peeking my interest with every interesting thing I saw.

                I start to further my exploration and as I continue to walk I see the most gorgeous beach with water so crystal blue clear, fields and fields of the tallest and most beautiful sunflowers I have ever seen in my entire life!  The people that inhabited this place were just as amazing as the place itself, everyone was friendly and there was no hate or judgment, or anything negative really. I was completely surrounded by good vibes and all the things I have ever wanted in life. I decided that there is no way I am going back up that hole into boring ole Springfield, Missouri. I am going to stay right down here, where there are good vibes and a tie dye sky.

                My dreams tend to revolve around getting a big adventure.

Color Me Winter

Color Me Winter

Winter cold breath

Snowy days spent in bed

Winter has arrived

Color Poems

Be Mine

Budding romance

There is new love in the air

You can tell their inlove

Forever

Be mine forever

Love me no matter what

I am forever yours