Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Final

1. I have done a lot of different writings this quarter, I have written a children’s story, a lot of pieces on my own life, and I have also told a lot of stories about other people and things I enjoy as well. When it comes to the journal it is basically a bunch of thoughts and letters to myself, when everything gets overwhelming, I feel like a pencil and paper are the only things I can talk to.
2. I have read my fair share of really cool things, Leanna’s writings were super cool and really descriptive and I loved her scary stories she posted about, I also really liked stories that people wrote about some sadness they were feeling because I wrote stories about stuff like that too, and I don’t know about the rest of them but when I see stories that remind me of how I felt or feel, it makes it feel more normal to not be okay sometimes, and it really is a comforting feeling to know you’re not alone, but with that being said, I hope those kids are not sad anymore.
3. I liked setting up my blog because it is a lot like me in a lot of ways, like with the tie dye and the quotes I put on it, not to mention the stories that inhabit it, all a little piece of me. I came up with the name because everyone calls me “Slagle Bagel”, since I could remember, all through elementary, middle school, and I escaped it for a while here in high school til my friends recently started calling me that more. I think all the people who care to see what I have to say read it, and I hope people that are going through hard times read it so they can see my experiences and the things I learned from them. I would like to say I will continue using it in the future, but I don’t ever get on the internet so I probably won’t, but I know I will definitely still be writing thoughts and feelings down.
4. My journal was something I really enjoyed part of this class, I know I didn’t write in it too often, but writing comes to me when it comes, not very easy when its assigned to write ten different things, which is cool if I had time to do that cause I am sure if I sat down and tried I would have a million different things to write about, but a lot of the time when something happens that I feel I need to write about, I just type it out in my notes really fast on my phone and get it out of my system then. The things that are in my journal are basically a bunch of thoughts, rants, emotions, and letters to myself and others. The people I would want to read my journal are closed minded people that don’t confront their problems or feelings and think everything is positive and there’s no bad in the world and see that there really is bad in the world, not everyone is happy, and comforting it helps, and to say the least, it’s normal. A lot of people push their problems and feelings aside because they are afraid that what they are feeling is not normal.
5. An entry that I never got to put in my journal, just a little thought I was having in class “I have been thinking a lot while I am in ISS. I think about the kids in here that I spend all day talking to and making jokes with and that I actually like and then I realize that as soon as this day is over, we won’t ever talk again. Their younger than me, or their in a different group of friends than I am, or maybe I just don’t seem them in the hall, but even if I did, and even if they saw me, we wouldn’t say Hi, we wouldn’t stop each other in the hall and see what one another is up to this weekend, regardless if we poured out our life story to each other the previous day in ISS.
Rebellion brings people together. Everything and anything that is bad, gives people this bond to each other. Like for a minute, labels don’t matter, and we all screw up sometimes, it reminds us that we are all human and that feels good. In the movie, the breakfast club, they are in detention and they are all from completely different clicks but for this one Saturday morning, no one is better than someone else. They all messed up and they are all spending their Saturday morning paying for it. I think sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that we are only human and everyone messes up and you don’t have to get in trouble or in ISS to realize that by any means. All you have to do is think to yourself when things are getting hard and you feel like everyone understands but you, you just got to let yourself know that it is okay to mess up, perfectly imperfect is the best thing to be.”
6. A paragraph or two from one of my most favorite stories I have ever written, Saving Myself  “I bend down next to my lifeless body and start begging for me to just hang on, and begging god to just please tell my mom I love her, and tell my brother I love him too, and make sure he turns out nothing like me, dear god, please don’t let him turn out anything like me, then something sparks inside of me, for the first time, I felt the will to live, I thought about how I wanted to go home and tell my mom and brother I love them myself, and how I wanted to personally make sure my brother didn’t make the same mistakes as me, and do everything in my power to make sure he didn’t end up like this. As a final attempt to save my life, I leaned over my lifeless body, putting my mouth over mine, inhaling air into my own lungs. I saw as my eyes yanked open…

I bolted up straight in my bed, my heart was racing and I was shaking, but I felt so alive, I felt as if I just took my first breathe of life all over again. I got up and looked in the mirror at myself, and for just a quick moment, I saw everything good I could become, I saw all the good in me, and for once, I couldn’t see any sadness, I couldn’t see all the things I did wrong. I just saw me, and in that moment, I knew I could save myself.”
7. The creative writing I plan to do in the future is to just write a bunch of really good stories and I hope that my stories help people get through whatever it is they are going through.  This does not differ from any writing I have ever done, since I can remember I have been writing stories in hopes that it will help others.
8. MY FELLOW WRITERS. All of your stories were freaking awesome I am sure I didn’t read very many because I just suck like that but I know just from spending these days in class with you that you all of potential and I am sure your stories are just as great as each and every one of you. J
9. This has been a rad senior year and I am glad I got to spend it with everyone in here

Thursday, December 4, 2014

101 Things About Me :)

101 Things About Me
1.       I was born on August 1st, 1996
2.       My parents are divorced.
3.       My mom and my dad are best friends even though they don’t live together.
4.       I have three brothers, one older and two are younger.
5.       I have severe depression.
6.       I like t wear maroon colored things.
7.       I look mixed but I am white.
8.       Me and my mom are bestfriends.
9.       When I was in kindergarten, I broke up with a boy named Riley because he was too short for me.
10.   Also when I was in kindergarten, I use to have crushes on all my big brothers friends.
11.   I have a really good visual memory. I can remember the night my parents got into a big fight tht resulted in their divorce just as if it was last night.
12.   I can tell what most songs are before they even say the words, I can just tell by the beats.
13.   I have had the song “Elmos world” stuck in my head since I was about 6.
14.   When I was little all I would eat were eggs and roman noodles.
15.   I watched Barney religiously.
16.   In middle school, I was obsessed with Martin Luther King Jr.
17.   I started my period going into fourth grade and I thought that it meant I was dying.
18.   Every year at Christmas, I watch all of the Christmas movies, even the little kid ones like “Barneys Christmas”
19.   I have hated every year of highschool.
20.   I have a tendency to date boys long distance instead of dating boys who are actually from here.
21.   I am inlove with my boyfriend Danny who lives in California. Hahaha.
22.   In middle school I use to make illnesses so the nurse would send me home, she never did though,
23.   When I was about 5, I ran my head into a glass door and got a piece of glass stuck in my forehead.
24.   When I was little, while my mom was at work and my dad was suppose to be watching me, I dumped a thing of fabric softener into my eye.
25.   Everyone loves my hair except for me.
26.   I have always loved English and writing, but I have always hated math.
27.   I went to rehab for the first time in 8th grade.
28.   I got expelled from middle school for the first time for possession of adoral.
29.   I had this boyfriend freshman year, that I was madly inlove with and he cheated on me and it devastated me so much, I hardly came to school when we broke up for good my Junior year.
30.   I use to listen to hardcore scream music when I was in the 7th grade.
31.   I have really bad anxiety.
32.   I love watching all kinds of movies, I love movies more than anything.
33.   The first time I ever had a story published was in the 6th grade and it was a poem about chocolate cake which I thought was pretty dumb so I was rather surprised when it was published in our school book.
34.   I use to be bestfriends with this girl Paxton all through elementary school and the first year of middle school and her mom use to make up the craziest lies about me.
35.   I remember the first cigarette or cigar or whatever it was I ever had, I was in 5th grade and it was grape flavored.
36.   Alfredo is my favorite food.
37.   I love Ally Banks.
38.   I hate being late for things.
39.   I hate being rushed.
40.   I cant stand PDA. Not the holding hands or a quick kiss, but the type of PDA when youre up against the walls you are making out so hardcore.
41.   I am notorious for spending every last dollar I have as quickly as possible.
42.   One of my other favorite meals is chicken strips and gravy.
43.   I use to have this slider phone and I could text in my pocket without looking all of the time.
44.   My mom says when I was a baby, I was the chillest baby anyone has ever seen, I just slept and ate all the time.
45.   I use to sit and watch all of the shreks and say every word.
46.   I hate bootflared jeans.
47.   I never liked corduroy pants.
48.    I have never been in a physical fight with a girl before.
49.   I modeled for a Paul Mitchell fashion show in the 8th grade.
50.   My hair was blonde.
51.   I almost drowned in my bathtub not too long ago because I fell asleep.
52. I am caring.
53. I am opinionated. 
54. I am emotional.
55. I am kind hearted.
56. I like orange pop.
57. I freaking love spaghetti.
58. I love being with family.
59. I like things that sparkle.
60. I like music.
61. I watch id discovery everyday. 
62. I love psychology.
63. I would love to be a social workee.
64. I have very little tolerance. 
65. I hate ignorant and immature people.
66. I use to be addicted to the facts about titanic.
67. I love vanilla and cookie/dessert sented things.
68. I love mac and cheese.
69. I think my first childhood love was thus boy named Gage in the fourth grade and he was like so perfect to me andi thought we were going to get married.
70. I love sleeping for hours.
71. I love pretty bras n panties.
72. I love manicures.
73. I love diamond clothing. 
74. I love auntie annes pretzels.
75. I love helping my mom out.
76. I love tropical smoothie. 
78. I love Christmas.
79. I love mob wives.
80. I love sweaters.
81. I love money.
82. I love snow. 
83. I love chicken and noodles. 
84. I love laying in the sun.
85. I love 4th of July.
86. I love fresh flowers.
87. I am stubborn.
88. I am heard headed.
89. I am a know it all.
90. I am dependable.
91. I can be harsh at times.
92. I am generous.
93. I take lots of selfies.
94. I love photography.
95. I hate spiders.
96. I hate mice.
97. If I would've been born thirty minutes earlier, I could've graduated last year.
98. I can hold silent grudges for a long time.
99. I like antique stuff.
100. I love white cheese and sweet sauce dip at Mexican food places. 
101. I cant wait to get out of Missouri and travel.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Well this blog has absolutely nothing to do with anything we are doing in class but I just have so much bottled up inside of me and no one really to talk to and I need just to have a moment, for real. To everyone who isn't a senior, seriously live it up because senior year is rough as hell. Things start piling up before you know it, 18th birthday is approaching and you will soon become an adult, All of the pressure we have when it comes to growing up. Teachers throw this college shit at you, handing out brouchers to sophomore and juniors. Things get crazy when it comes to school and even more so when it comes to life. So everyone who isn't going through this right now, live it up and when the time does come, don't forget to just breathe and let the rest of it happen. Sometimes in between of all the test and "fitting in" and friends, I think we all forget to just take a moment and recalculate on things that have happened. I know that sometimes I forget to do that and then things just keep piling up and before I know it I am beyond overwhelmed sitting in the consular talking about how I cant wait to get out of highschool. I know when I get in the true adult world, I will look back and think "I cant believe I thought those were problems then" and that's probably right. Everything we worry about as a kid seems much smaller when we become true adults, but right now, I am still in highschool, still caught between who I am and who I want to be and it still sucks. I keep telling myself to hang in there and that I got less than 20 days left and then I am done, but looking forward to the future is hard when you cant even look past your present. I am holding onto the words "It'll get better." and hey, maybe it will, or maybe it wont. I just need to remember to breathe.

Food Memory

My biggest food memory I have as a child is the fact I didn't eat anything else besides eggs and roman noodles. I would go out to dinner at a family friends house and they would have to make me an egg or roman noodles because I would refuse to eat anything else. When I smell roman noodles or eggs, I often think of my childhood. I think about on Easter day when I cared more about the hard boiled the candy inside the plastic ones. I remember sitting cross legged on my moms friends, Ginger, 70's style carpet, while all the other kids were out hunting for candy, I was sitting there waiting patiently but eagerly for my hard boiled egg.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

It sucks just as bad for kids as it does for adults

Before you continue reading, let it be known that this has nothing to do with any of the assignments in this class. It is just me, simply venting.

"What do you have to worry about? You are 18. You go to school, you have a job, you can do whatever you want. Yeah let me tell you about real stress, bills, food, figuring out how to make enough money to get us by, being a single parent with two kids, you dont even begin to know stress."

What do I have to worry about.... Im  a teenager, I dont pay bills, I dont have to worry about electricity or cabel or putting food on the table, so year, adults are right when it comes to that because a good majority of us dont have to worry about that, and godbless all the parents who do it on their own, seriously, I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I give my mom props for being able to do what she does and with two kids and bills so yeah, I get that,

But do they have any living idea what it is like to be a kid in this day and age. We have technology for one, I am sure there were bullied but they got to go home and get away from it and maybe the next day the bully would still be there but then you know you get to go home and get peace and quiet just for a moment, yeah well now, when you get bullied at school, it follows you home. It is on facebook, twitter, text messages, instagram, it never ends. Also lets consider how different the schooling was, they didnt know nor have half of the stuff that we do now, so they learned simply and I am more that sure that a good majority of them understood what was being taught to them Now, we have smartboards, laptops, and even ipads in some parts which you would think make learning easier but it doesnt. Adults didnt have half of the pressure as teenagers do, when adults went to parties, it was just a simple party, yeah there might of been some drinking and weed, but parties now, there are acid, K2, weed, pills and abunch of other things that teenagers are surrounded by everyday and godbless the kids who have a strong enough will power to say no, but some of them dont. Life is just awful now, schools are getting shot up, people are getting raped and jumped. There are so many problems with teenagers and i feel like adults dont understand that..
Maybe one day,

Friday, November 7, 2014

Movies

1. I watch movies religiously so it is really hard trying to figure out what my favorite movie is because I dont have such a thing, I love all movies and all different kinds, but one of my favorites is "Perks of Being a Wallflower" I love that movie. I love it because it teaches you alot of good life lessons for kids who struggle with depression like myself. Shows us that things will get better, and even if we have to hit rock bottom first, the only way to go from there is up, and I think thats what all of us need sometimes, to hit rock bottom and just work our way back up.
2. I dont really care for romantic movies too much, I like romantic comedys, but just straight love stories are not my thing. I feel like majority of them are unrealistic and I also get sad because I am all lonely and stuff but its mainly because the stuff that happens in the movies is never going to happen in real life so I would defintley say that romantic is my least favorite.
3. I watch two or three movies a day and I usually watch them in my bed or sitting in my floor in my room and watch them, sometimes I will watch them in the living room but I dont do that too often because when I am watching a movie i like to focous on the movie and there be no sound or anyone talking while I am watching, one of the best ways to anger me, speaking during a movie.
4. What I need before I watch a movie is my blanket and bed, hahaha. If I have food too, that is cool. I usually have a drink though. Majority of the times I will eat dinner while I watch a movie but I dont need food or comapny or anything like that. I perfer watching movies by myself most of the time anyway.

Photograph

This is my itty
My mini me
Her eyes glisten with innocence
Like a reflection of my younger years
Melodies of her favorite song falling off her lips
Her smile lighting up my world

This is me being genuinely happy
Curls falling around my face
Our voices intertwining as the silly lyrics leave the speakers of the car radio

This is us, losing ourselves in music
This is her, lighting up my world
This is me, being genuinely happy